Hello Dahlings,This past Valentine's Day was a very hectic one foryour faithful Mistress, and now that I've had time torest and reflect, I've been thinking about otherthings. Self esteem is a very popular subject in ourculture, but how many of us actually have it? How manyof us have good relationships with ourselves? So muchtime is focused on the pursuit of the almighty dollar,that I truly believe the things in life that reallymatter the most tend to fall by the wayside. I waswatching a program on my favorite independent, viewersupported TV station about debt, and how so manyAmericans are bogged down by it that they becomestressed out and are unable to enjoy the simple, andFREE things in life (now they didn't mention this onthe program, but the subject that sprang to my mindwas SEX, I can't tell you how many times I've heardcustomers tell me that they were unable to fully enjoysex with a partner or masturbation because their mindskept wandering to things like bills, debt, etc.- andnine times out of ten these people were women.)This leads me to self esteem, and developing a goodrelationship with yourself. A very wise lady friend ofmine once pointed out to me that we tend to say andthink horrible things about ourselves that we wouldnever even dream of saying to our friends. How manytimes have you stood in front of a mirror and thought,"I hate my nose" or "my butt or stomach is too big" or"my legs are so fat or short", or even "I'm sostupid", "I'm so terrible with money, I'm an idiot andI'll never be financially stable". My guess is morethan once. Now how many times have you turned to yourbest friend and said the same thing? Most likely,never! While constructive criticism is sometimescalled for, we think of ourselves as being "there" fora friend, and reminding them about all of theattractive and wonderful attributes that they possessthat made us want to befriend them in the first place;and we especially do this when they are feeling down,we certainly don't want to tear them down and makethem feel even worse at times like these! One of my favorite sayings is, "When it rains, itpours". When we are feeling down or depressed aboutsomething, many of us tend to allow our brains freereign to dig up all the other things that we feelterrible about, and feel inadequate in; that leads toa cycle of depression and self abuse that is difficultfor many people to snap out of. We feel that it's OKto "beat ourselves up" endlessly, when, like I saidbefore, we would never do that to a friend. None of us are perfect, we all have issues that needwork. Instead of thinking about these issues when weare already feeling bad, why not pick one thing, largeor small, and tackle it when we wake up refreshed andfeeling great? When you're in a good, positive mood,that is the perfect time to do some critical thinking.When you have solved the issue in question, or atleast worked toward a solution, reward yourself notwith a shopping spree, why not make a date withyourself? Your faithful Mistress knows the importance ofrewarding ones' self in this manner. I have always putaside time for a date with myself, because I am themost beautiful, wise, and intelligent person I haveever had the pleasure of meeting! I always enjoy myown company, and honey, I rock my world as far as sexgoes! No one can do it to me like I do! Here's what Ido: I turn off my cell phone. Very important! I hideall bills, letters, and other "important, officialstuff" in my desk. I put the cats in another room withtheir toys, treats, bedding, and litter box (I don'twant any smelly or noisy interruptions- this is MYSENSUAL TIME), I go to the kitchen, purposely ignorethe dishes in the sink, and concoct myself adelicious, refreshing cocktail. This can be a simpleglass of "2 Buck Chuck", or a champagne cocktail, aShirley Temple or a New York Egg Creme with lots ofice, or my perennial favorite: 1/2 OJ with 1/2sparkling water; whatever it is, it has to sound greatto me at that moment. I fill the tub with hot waterand lots of Alba natural bubble bath, Honey Mangoscent. I light a stick of Nag Champa incense. I lighta scented candle next to the tub, and enjoy thefeeling of the water, and the scents of Honey Mangoand Nag Champa. I stare at the candle and think of howbeautiful the flickering light looks, this flatteringlight also allows me to forget that my bathroom floorneeds scrubbing. After my bath, I dry off with thefluffiest towel I have, never mind that it has hairdye stains all over it, I'm not thinking about craplike that on my date! I then spray myself all overwith Tuberose scent Goddess Oil and rub it into myskin, giving myself a very healthy and relaxing lymphmassage. Now I'm ready for action! I grab my favoritefleece blanket and throw it on the couch. I grab myfavorite DVD, The Dinner Party (this title isespecially great because the sounds of sex are dubbedover with a pleasant soundtrack. There's no AC in myhouse, and in the summer I like to leave my windowsopen, that way I can entertain myself without roastingin 90 degree heat for fear of offending my neighbors),and a selection of my favorite toys, lube, Cleo Creme,and the remote. I don't think I need to go into detailhere, use your imagination. After that, I saunter intothe kitchen, and fix myself a nice snack, I deserve itafter all my hard work pleasing my date!It's so important for all of us to be able to pleaseourselves, emotionally and physically, no personshould completely depend on anyone else for happinessand satisfaction, there are times when we only haveourselves, whether that be by choice or not. Beingable to satisfy your own needs and desires allows youto communicate more effectively when you do have apartner in your life. It's also very important to loveyourself, it's a cliche, but a very true one, that ifyou don't love yourself it makes it very hard forsomeone else to do so. If a friend of mine spoke verypoorly of a certain somebody, then tried to fix me upon a date with that person, why would I want to go outwith them? My friend has made them sound veryunappealing already! The same goes for yourself, whileit's sort of a turn off to hear someone ring their ownbell endlessly, (a bit of humility goes a long way)you certainly wouldn't want to hear someone you'reinterested in advertise his/her self as being"stupid, ugly, fat," etc. Your life is your party! Whowants to attend a pity party? Not me! Like John Lennonsang, "All you need is love...", and truer words werenever sung.